I think the stress is really starting to get to me. I’m not usually a rude person… critical, yes, and a bit severe at times, but I try my hardest to avoid rudeness. It certainly doesn’t do anybody any good, that’s for sure, but today in theatre class someone asked a dumb question, and I just, well, blurted out the answer in a very smug “you really should have known that” sort of manner. I felt awful, and yet thought the whole thing was rather amusing, really. Ok, so she didn’t know that the Obie awards are named as such due to their concern with “Off Broadway” shows, e.g. O.B. =Obie. All right, that’s fine. I’m sure lots of people don’t know that, and I didn’t have to be rude, but it just slipped out. And that room has crazy amplification. The whole room was quiet except for my outburst. Ah, well… I’ll try harder next time to keep my stress inside and not take it out on innocent classmates.Leave a comment!
[edit to add: the "karma" thing was a script in the old Grey Matter blog that allowed you to vote for positive and negative karma in the posts. It was weird, and in the end was the errant script that forced me to stop using GM, because it almost crashed the server.]
What’s up with the wacky karma votes, anyway? I don’t understand the logic behind giving some posts positive and others negative votes. Ah, well. Chacun son gout, n’est pas? (If I could remember the ASCII code for the circomflex, or however you spell it, for the u in gout, I’d have put it in there.) Comments, I understand… but the votes… not so much. I don’t understand this whole blogging business anyway, so I don’t know why I’m dwelling on this one teeny-weeny point about it.
Ok, moving on…
I’m completely freaking out about the move. Well, not so much the move in itself, but rather the move combined with everything else that has to be done. The last day of classes is the 14th. That’s in 13 days. Yikes. This weekend is going to be totally disgusting. I’ll be up to my nose in homework. I just hope Jesse can handle doing everything by himself… since I have a feeling I’m going to be totally worthless due to the school stress. Well, maybe not totally worthless, but darned near close to it. We’ll see.Leave a comment!
(this is taken from some livejournal people who are on Kristen’s friends list)
TWENTY YEARS AGO: I was five and a half years old. I think I was attending Kindergarten in Mr. Mantis’ class (whom we affectionately called Mr. Mayonaise, or Mr. Mustard when we were feeling exceptionally goofy). I remember my favorite activity: snack time! Vanilla Wafers and apple juice was my favorite snack combination.
TEN YEARS AGO: I was fifteen and a half years old and just finishing up the tenth grade. I had also started marching band that year: hooray for color guard! My favorite teacher was Ms. Withers, and that year I learned the definition of “expectoration.” My favorite snack was a ham sandwich with potato chips and mustard.
FIVE YEARS AGO: I was twenty and a half years old and at the end of the spring semester of my first year here in Massachusetts. It sucked alot. I met some awesome people, like Jesse and Kristen for example (as well as many, many others) but personally, I was completely lost and failing out of school. Hooray for friends and family and professors for helping to pull me through! My favorite snack was fried spam with a baked potato and squeeze cheeze… that is until the end of that summer when I had decided to become vegan. Big switch, eh?
THREE YEARS AGO: I was twenty three and a half. Jesse was swiftly approaching graduation, while I was still in the thick of my (multi-layerd) undergrad career. By this time I had decided on studying Art History, and was getting on the Chancellor’s List for the second year in a row! My favorite snack was raw carrots and “Goddess” dressing (by Annie’), tied with my mini chocolate cuppicakes.
ONE YEAR AGO: I was twenty four and a half, and FINALLY graduating from UMD with a BA in Art History. I won an award in the department for being way awesome, and discovered just how much I love going to art museums and talking about the art while it’s right in front of you. I was also beginning the mega-preparations for the wedding. My favorite snack was home made bread with “stinky-breath” dip (garlic and herbs in olive oil).
YESTERDAY: I was twenty five and a half years old, and hurriedly finishing up a paper that I thought was due, as well as going to classes and such. My favorite snack was soy yogurt with “Tropical Source” brand chocolate chips.
TOMORROW: I will still be twenty five and a half years old, and will be hurriedly finishing up all sorts of school work, as well as beginning the countdown to the last day of classes (the 14th). In three weeks I will have finished all the requirements for the BA in Philosophy as well as a minor in French. And I’m getting another award for being way awesome. Hooray for me! My favorite snack will probalby be brownies. yum.Leave a comment!
I can’t believe how quickly the semester has flown by. It seemed to be dragging in February, but March and April whizzed away so fast I hardly had time to blink. And now I’ve only got two weeks until the end of the semester, and then a week of final exams, and then a week of vacation, and then a few days before we have to be out of the apartment. WHAT??? That’s insane. Oh, and one of my professors just posted our assignments for the rest of the semester… three new ones. Craziness, I tell you! This is the class that took forever to get started, and now we’re rushing to finish. Argh! And I am still behind in this class. It’s absolutely nuts. And I was hoping to take this weekend to begin packing things up, but I’m going to have to spend more time than I had wanted to on homework. I’m not really behind in any of my other classes. It’s just this stupid online course. The university is trying to look really spiffy by having these online courses: “Yes! We love technology! See? Look at our online courses!” Well, whoop-dee-shit… I just love it. I don’t even feel like getting into the details becuase it makes me so frustrated.
Ah, well… only a few more weeks. I can take it. I always freak out at the end of the semester, why should this one be any different? I have to make a schedule of my assignments so I can time their completion properly. I don’t want to freak out while I’m actually doing the work, so I’ll have to have a game plan. I’m going to be so glad when this is over. I’m waiting to go to grad school until January. I just need some time off. My brain is so tired. I can’t wait until I can spend weekends doing things I want to do, rather than writing papers.
Ahhhh, “will night never come?”Leave a comment!
Looks like we’ll be moving next month (well, by the end of the month, anyway). Mike T. offered to rent us The Barn! Woo hoo! The current tennant is moving out this month and we’re going to take his place. We’ll be renting the place, but it’s an entire house with a yard and a (potential) garden and everything. It’s got much more room than the apartment, certainly more outdoor room. I’m so excited! I’ve already been planning in my head certain parts, like colors and such. We get to pretty much do what we want with the place (within reason, of course), not like where we are now. Finally, we get to have a say in what our walls look like.
Yay, new home!
Before we start packing up, I’m going to take some pictures of our place now, because I’m not sure if we have very many pictures of it. Especially the studio and the stuff I have on the ceiling and walls right now. (We had to cover up that awful wallpaper.) When we start moving in to the new place, I’ll be sure to take tons of photos. I bought a small scrapbook for documenting the new place. It’s going to be so hectic, but worth it, I think.Leave a comment!
Sunday was a crazy-busy day. Jesse and I had brunch at Mikey and Reed’s apartment (deee-lish!) where there were gathered many of our friends. It was so nice to see everyone and share that awesome meal. Yum! I love eating with lots of people. Few things make me happier than meals with lots of people. The conversation was awesome, and the gathering so nice… we should do that more often!
After brunch, Jesse and I headed home to prepare for the scrapbook party. We rushed to finish cleaning a bit and then prepare the food before the guests arrived. Natalie and Denise were first to arrive because Natalie was the one giving the demo. Then MO arrived. And that was it. At 2:15 I began to be concerned since none of my friends are usually more than fifteen minutes late for an event, and certainly not all of them at the same time. I was expecting seven other people at the party beside Jesse and myself, and only three of those seven showed up. I sent out an email a few days ago (Thursday, I think), but MO didn’t get it, so I’m assuming it got lost in email limbo or something. The server has been up and down for the last several days (the server is switching around lots of stuff) so it probably got eaten. Ah, well. It was fun with just the few of us there. We made fun pages and MO is now a Creative Memories convert! whee! I didn’t have any photos for my page that I made today, since I want to put in photos of this spring… but spring finally just arrived today, so the photos are slightly delayed. I’ll be having three parties by the end of the year, so I’ll get some free gifties! yay! I’ve got to plan them out. I think the first will be in July, the second in September, and the third in early December. At least that’s my plan as of today… but we’ll see. This scrapbooking stuff is so much fun; I think Ruthy would really get a kick out of it, as would Erika, I think. I’ll have to bring my books down with me to Maryland when I visit at the end of next month.Leave a comment!
Well, the plays last night were pretty good. The first, The Respectufl Prostitute, I had never seen and was pretty messed up. It took place in the South (US) in the 1930′s, so you can imagine the nastiness of the race relations– which just happened to be the leit motif. [content removed] The set was quite simple and worked just fine. Alex was great as the black man. Oh, no… no typecasting there. (hee hee) Alex is great all ’round, anyway, even when he’s not type-cast. The second, No Exit, was also quite good. Except they didn’t do the ending right. They used the English ending rather than the French ending, which was disappointing. The ending is supposed to show the beginning all over again, and hence, hell. Hell is not just “other people.” It is that, surely, but also the concept of hell is ‘living’ that stuff over and over again in a cycle of which you are only vaguely aware. So a looming sense of déja vu (and I can’t find the code for the accent over the a, oh well) is constantly present… either that or you have full awareness of the repetition and can’t do anything to stop it. There are many interpretations for the repetition at the end of the play, but none of them were addressed in this showing because they chose not to show that ending in the first place. Ah well. The acting was pretty good… the young woman who played Estelle was especially good for her part. The other two “absentees” were decent, so no complaining here (shock!). They all really played their roles quite well. All in all, a good night out, and I didn’t feel like I wasted my three dollerinis.
PS- found out on Sunday that the director didn’t know about the original ending, and would have done that one had he known. I thought it sounded like something he’d like to try, and wondered why he didn’t… and now I know why.Leave a comment!
I’m so freakin’ busy this weekend:
Today I’ve got to go home, and Kristen will probably be there to meet me when I get home. Hmm, probably should have cleaned a little. The kitchen is pretty gross, and I don’t think JeT had any time today to do it. Anyway, then I am going to see Evan’s plays tonight (Hell on Earth, a night of Sartre). And that will get out incredibly late. Kristen and Susan are crashing at our place, I assume.
Tomorrow, JeT and I are meeting with Jesse’s Dad to discuss stuff. Then I have to work at noon, and then in the evening I’m going to see Joe Hat in some play at BCC.
Then on Sunday, Mikey and Reed have that meeting at their place, and then I have to high-tail it down to NB for the scrapbook party at my place. arg! so much to do! And I haven’t even bought any snacks for the party or cleaned, or even planned how I’m going to arrange the furniture. And I have to email Natalie the head count today, and I don’t even know the final number!
yikes. Oh, and I haven’t even mentioned the severe amount of homework that I have to do. I think I have to write three papers, multiple revisions of previous work, and then general reading for each class. I’m swamped. At least there are only three weeks left until the end of the semester.
Oh, and I’m going to that rally on Tuesday, so I’ll have to catch up on work for that day. And then there’s that book from the Ethics class that I need to get so I can do the work that I’ve neglected to do. I hate falling behind. At least I’ve only fallen behind in that one class, so catching up shouldn’t be too heinous.
blargh.Leave a comment!
(tried posting this earlier, but the server was not working or something… ah well)
The marble in the envelope: If you were to squeeze a stack of envelopes between your hands, you would feel something in the middle of the stack closely resembling a marble. But if you were to inspect the stack, and look between the envelopes, you wouldn’t find anything other than just the envelopes. The little bits of glue on each envelope, when stacked, feel like a marble. This is not unlike the “I.” We cannot look inside the brain (like we could look in between the envelopes) to find out where this “I” is located, and we don’t even know if it’s a real object. However, we have to speak of it as if it exists, because it is our way of coping in the universe.
The domino that won’t fall: If a domino in a system of dominoes doesn’t fall, the reason is that the one in front of it didn’t fall. This is correct, but the explanation lacks an appreciation of what the system is meant to do in the first place. Suppose the following: In a system of dominoes that is constructed with the purpose of determining whether or not the number of dominoes is prime, there might be certain dominoes that will either fall or not fall depending on the primeness of the number of dominoes involved. (This is much easier to summarize if I could draw a picture, but this will have to do.) If the domino in question does not fall, and it is in the proper checkpoint, then the reason it didn’t fall is that the number of dominoes is prime. The first answer to the question “why didn’t the domino fall” is still correct, but the second answer is able to give a more complete picture of what is going on. In the case of the “I” causality is better explained by taking into consideration the function of the system as a whole– what the brain does, and how we use this “I.”
The distortion of the television screen: The self-referential nature of images of images create robust phenomena, which are often unpredictable. Hofstadter took photos (presumably) of a television screen and observed certain phenomena: images within images within images, until the image goes off the screen, or patterns appearing when the camera is tilted just so. When we speak of the “I” we are by definition speaking self-referentially, like the photo image of the television image. Some of the behavior of the system, like the repeating number thirteen in one particular image pattern, was unpredictable until the system was manipulated in such a way to produce this phenomenon. The pattern could be seen again if the same circumstances were repeated, though, and then prediction can be achieved. This manipulation demonstrates how the system works.
I’m not so sure I am articulating myself in a way that can give a good picture of what he was talking about, so I’ll finish there.
In other news, we went out to dinner after the talk… mmmm, Grasshopper! I’m surprised Mike and Jeff wanted to go, as they’re not too experimental when it comes to their food– especially when the food in question is vegan and Asian. However, they found a couple things to eat, even if they weren’t completely satisfied. I had to tell Jeff, however, of my taking pleasure in his lack of finding something on the menu that he wanted to eat. In normal circumstances, it is I who ends up ordering the salad. Mwahahahahaha! I ordered the usual (“no name”) and got the same for Jesse, who wasn’t able to come because of work. Bah! Many driving adventures were had when we had to figure out how to bang a u-ey on Comm Ave. Quite interesting, indeed! But we got there in one piece, and filled our bellies full.
yum. Food for the brain, food for the belly… definitely a good day.Leave a comment!